Dissecting The Flames Of Anger

Anger can undeniably be a dangerous emotion. The actions and words that stem out from this feeling are often regretted and leave a sense of guilt. Anger is meant to be a defense mechanism that serves as protection for one's feelings.

Yourdictionary.com gives this definiion, "A feeling of displeasure resulting from injury, mistreatment, opposition, etc, and usually showing itself in a desire to fight back at the supposed cause of this feeling."

This definition fits well with a diagram I was shown in grief counseling two years ago. Imagine a fire: the oak limbs below it a crackling and have caught fire quickly; the flames are twisted with bright red, yellow, and orange heat; and a wide column of dark smoke swirls towards the sky. With this in mind, compare what you see with the feelings associated with anger. What causes this anger? The definition I previously quoted states that anger is formed by and injury or mistreatment of some kind. Therefore, the oak branches below the fire are the action that has hurt them. The bright flames are the pain caused from that hurt and the swirling smoke is the anger set off because of the pain.

The diagram manifested so many things to me. When I was upset I was defensively attacking someone else because I was in turn hurt by something else. I put a lot of thought into the idea that when other people lash out at me, there is a good chance that I had hurt them in some way or other. Knowing this helped me try to discover why they were hurting and in turn being angry.
Somewhere along the way I lost that as my focus and now no longer handle agitated situations in a peaceful manner. I can't help but believe,though, that if we all approached anger this way that the world would be a much happier place.

Disney's Flaws or Satan's Vengence?

             Change is inevitable. It comes in the form of happines, aggravation, and tears. Disney showed us uncondition everlasting love and enduring families throughout his films. What he didnt express was what happens after the happily ever after. The truth is, there is no happily ever after. Sure you can ride off with your pirnce into the sunset but the sunset fades and you're left in the dark. Addictions, lies, affairs, and divorce sweep through our world as that once beautiful sun sets. We are left with much less than a happily ever after, but an ever after yet. What happens to a couple that leads them to fall out of love with each other? What causes one to lust after another or to break his marriage vows? Where was the nagging and the financial struggles in Cinderella's story? Where are all the cheaters, the deceivers, and the debtors? What becomes of the children whose families have been ripped apart and destroyed by nasty divorces? Are they to forever hide their tears and hide behind fake smiles? When they grow older must they bottle old pains and push them aside to strive for happines?
              Now Im not trying to be pessimistic. Life is not full of only lies and heartaches but accompanied by laughter, love, and forgiveness. It's what we choose to make of our lives that decides the fate of it. Like whether we see a glass of water as half empty or half full. Though there are many situations that occur that are out of our control, it is how we choose to handle them that makes the difference. Life contains struggles for reasons many people contemplate. So why did Disney hide realistic pain from his movie plots? Did he do so in hopes that we would all strive to live according to this unreal fixation of what life should be like or because he wanted to provide a means to cause question in the paths of life that we take? I often wonder.