Through Death Comes Life.

Yesterday, a twenty-two year old woman passed away in the Intensive Care of the hospital that I work at. After her passing, she was rushed to the operating room where she donated her heart valves and her liver. Within minutes after her operation, her liver was already on its way to San Fransisco. She saved the lives of six people. Her death, though devastating, granted life to those others. Witnessing this experience yesterday changed the way I feel about being an organ donor.
One of my best friends, Julia, who passed away in August '08, from similar causes, was also an organ donor. Though I do not know the details of that donation, I do know that Julia gave life to others who needed it. Losing her has been completely unbareable and caused me pain that I cannot express in words. But to know that she still "lives" somewhere else in this world through someone else, is an unbelievably happy thought. Death is a devastating occurance for those people who care for the person passing. Julia was extremely compasionate, and I know that she chose to be a donor for exactly that reason. What she no longer needed, she selflessly gave away blessing the lives of those in need.
Death is often unpredictable. Why not bless others with something we no longer need?  

If You Love Me... You Will.

Now I'm not saying this is the case wth my relationship. I've just had this thought on my mind and figured I would share.
I absolutely HATE the line "If you love me, you will." This is meant with complete and utter selfishness to manipulate another person to do something you want them to do that they would otherwise not usually do. At least, that's my definition. For example, If a guy says to his girlfriend, "If you love me, you will have sex with me." Well maybe she isnt ready to commit to a sexual relationship and that's why she hasnt put out already. Whatever the reason, she has hers and manipulating her to get sex is not going to make anyone happy. Ya she might give in and sleep with the guy, but if she wasnt ready to take that step, then chances are she is going to be upset and full of regret afterwords. Then he will feel bad for making her before she was ready, and yadda yadda yadda.. 
It's just not a win-win situation. 
Of course this "phrase" is used in other circumstances not necesarily relating to sex. It could be, "If you love me, you will buy this for me.", "If you love me, you will choose a different career.", etc. I just absolutely hate it! If someone REALLY loves you, they will NOT use that phrase against you. If someone really loves you, they will accept you for who you are and embrace your differences.
Just a thought..

Toddlers and... Tans?

              Competition can be a healthy addition to children’s lives; however, there is a certain level that can be reached that is not longer positively stimulating. The television show, Toddlers and Tiaras, has recently caught my attention. At first this show appeared to contain sweet young girls interacting in an innocent game of ‘dress-up.’ After just minutes of observing this one hour episode, I was shocked to notice a lack of innocence and a severe sense of competition between the parents of the children. On TLC’s website about Toddlers and Tiaras it gives an accurate introduction of the material expected in the show. “On any given weekend across the country, toddlers take the stage wearing makeup, spray tans, and fake hair to be judged on beauty, personality, and costumes. Toddlers & Tiaras follows families on their quest for sparkly crowns, big titles and lots of cash.” Also on the site, are postings of many, if not all, of the show’s episodes accompanied by shorter exerts not included in the episodes. In one of these exerts, Beauty is Painful, we watch a six year old girl receive eye brow waxing, acrylic nails, and teeth whitening. Other exerts include, Fab Fake Nails and Big Dollar Dresses, Mother Daughter Disappointment, No Pimple for A Princess, etc. The website further describes this show saying, “The preparation is intense as it gets down to the final week before the pageant. From hair and nail appointments, to finishing touches on gowns and suits, to numerous coaching sessions or rehearsals, each child preps for their performance. But once at the pageant, it's all up to the judges and drama ensues when every parent wants to prove that their child is beautiful.” The last line in this statement appeared to be the most frustrating to me, “when every parent wants to prove that their child is beautiful.” Instead of building up our children’s self confidence and instilling in each of them that they are all beautiful and talented, we are corrupting them into believing that physical beauty is the most important key to success. These children are being mangled with fake hair, caked with spray tans, and strangled into their thousand-dollar, custom-made pageant costumes. A child’s imagination does not need to be exposed to such expensive clothing, cosmetics, and “beauty improvements” at such a young age. These pageants quickly turn into competition between parents as they drive their child further into a superficial world. There is immense stress forced onto each child in these pageants to be the best and in turn to make their parents proud of them. Certain titles such as, Prettiest Smile, Most Talented, Prettiest Costume, etc, can be detrimental to a child. This is no longer a healthy competitive environment for the child to be exposed to.

Dissecting The Flames Of Anger

Anger can undeniably be a dangerous emotion. The actions and words that stem out from this feeling are often regretted and leave a sense of guilt. Anger is meant to be a defense mechanism that serves as protection for one's feelings.

Yourdictionary.com gives this definiion, "A feeling of displeasure resulting from injury, mistreatment, opposition, etc, and usually showing itself in a desire to fight back at the supposed cause of this feeling."

This definition fits well with a diagram I was shown in grief counseling two years ago. Imagine a fire: the oak limbs below it a crackling and have caught fire quickly; the flames are twisted with bright red, yellow, and orange heat; and a wide column of dark smoke swirls towards the sky. With this in mind, compare what you see with the feelings associated with anger. What causes this anger? The definition I previously quoted states that anger is formed by and injury or mistreatment of some kind. Therefore, the oak branches below the fire are the action that has hurt them. The bright flames are the pain caused from that hurt and the swirling smoke is the anger set off because of the pain.

The diagram manifested so many things to me. When I was upset I was defensively attacking someone else because I was in turn hurt by something else. I put a lot of thought into the idea that when other people lash out at me, there is a good chance that I had hurt them in some way or other. Knowing this helped me try to discover why they were hurting and in turn being angry.
Somewhere along the way I lost that as my focus and now no longer handle agitated situations in a peaceful manner. I can't help but believe,though, that if we all approached anger this way that the world would be a much happier place.

Disney's Flaws or Satan's Vengence?

             Change is inevitable. It comes in the form of happines, aggravation, and tears. Disney showed us uncondition everlasting love and enduring families throughout his films. What he didnt express was what happens after the happily ever after. The truth is, there is no happily ever after. Sure you can ride off with your pirnce into the sunset but the sunset fades and you're left in the dark. Addictions, lies, affairs, and divorce sweep through our world as that once beautiful sun sets. We are left with much less than a happily ever after, but an ever after yet. What happens to a couple that leads them to fall out of love with each other? What causes one to lust after another or to break his marriage vows? Where was the nagging and the financial struggles in Cinderella's story? Where are all the cheaters, the deceivers, and the debtors? What becomes of the children whose families have been ripped apart and destroyed by nasty divorces? Are they to forever hide their tears and hide behind fake smiles? When they grow older must they bottle old pains and push them aside to strive for happines?
              Now Im not trying to be pessimistic. Life is not full of only lies and heartaches but accompanied by laughter, love, and forgiveness. It's what we choose to make of our lives that decides the fate of it. Like whether we see a glass of water as half empty or half full. Though there are many situations that occur that are out of our control, it is how we choose to handle them that makes the difference. Life contains struggles for reasons many people contemplate. So why did Disney hide realistic pain from his movie plots? Did he do so in hopes that we would all strive to live according to this unreal fixation of what life should be like or because he wanted to provide a means to cause question in the paths of life that we take? I often wonder. 

Estimated Wait Time...?

How many times have we all heard the saying.. "The good things in life are worth waiting for." ..? Well damn. If we are always waiting for the good times, then how will we know that the good times didnt just pass us because we were too busy waiting for something else?
Shouldnt every different situation have different estimated "wait times?"
Like waiting in line at the grocery store to pay for your groceries.
Waiting in line for a ride at an amusement park.
Etc.
Well what about waiting for... love, for example.
I dont believe there to be a time limit on falling in love... But how about waiting for love after you have already found it? 
There are certain limitations and extremeties that we, as human beings, can endure. The heart can develop to be one of our strongest, surest instruments in our bodies, yet it can also be the weakest and most uncertain conductors to the hearts melodies.
How many limits does my heart have, before I get to the front of the line to finish my waiting time?

Late Night Munchies.

I dont completely understand what it is about the darkness that surrounds the soliditary feeling of being alone and awakes the urgency to share feelings. I swear its when im alone at night that I unravel all of my thoughts of the last few days and analyze absolutely everything.
Like physical interaction, for example. I dont mean physical in a sexual way, although that is quite enjoyable, I mean the emotionally intimate affection that is shared between two people. Simple gestures like holding hands, kisses, embraces, silly whispers, comforting touches, etc. Why are these actions so drastically important in any relationship, friend or lover? I definitely believe that the mental/emotional connection between people is much more important than physical, but being human beings, we thrive off of physical sensations. Its these gestures that give an assurity of your importance to someone else. It's in our nature to want to be needed and excepted by others, therefore, the thrive to communicate by touch.